Human life is insignificant.

It's amazing to see how intricate human bodies are. Everything that goes on inside of you, your body does itself. You have no control over it, yet it does exactly what it needs to. However, it sucks to realize that we are virtually nothing compared to the rest of the universe. You can look around town and see people you've never seen before, and think nothing of it. The same goes with our planet, but on a HUUUUGERR scale. There are billions apon billions of planets out there. Our one small life among that is incredibly irrelevant. There has to be other life out there. Think, if there's not, that is SOO much wasted space. Full of stars, planets, galaxies, and nothingness. Wasted. I seriously hate thinking of the universe. There is too much to grasp. You can look at pictures from satalights taken lightyears away, but I know I'll never fully understand how much nothingness is really out there. Irrelevence in the universe sucks. Why not make an effort to at least change something in our little world. Maybe someday we will be significant. But our world as whole needs to learn how to communicate with other things that could be out in space (That was nerdy). Or just be able to experience more of it. Welp, goooooood thing I just made myself feel more insignificant. HA. Life sucks. Not my life necessarily , just human life in general.

Hehrooooo nerd status<333

I lied.

That DOES bother me. I am a jealous person. I’ve always swayed back and forth between saying I’m jealous about this, but not really jealous about that. But the fact is, I get jealous way too often. I rarely admit it. Which is why it seems people can always joke about stuff like that with me. Trying to make me jealous, but just joking about it. I’ll laugh it off and say it doesn’t bother me. But it actually does. Whatever. Like always, I’ll just forget about it and hope it doesn’t happen again. But who am I kidding? It will.

Proud Deleter of Myspace.

Haha I feel so free. :)

Maybe We Don't Wanna Be Found.

I seriously get sooo stressed everyday when I tyr to figure out where I am going with my life. For the most part, I like to say I live for the present but other times I sit down and try to figure out where my life's going and I sit there just thinking and thinking and thinking and get so distressed over it.

Like something that has been part of me since elementary school seems to be fading in my life. It's no longer as fun for me. Other things take precedence over it, but I can't imagine my life without it. However, given the circumstances, maybe it's not as important as I think it is. And it kills me to think like that. Today in choir I was on the verge of tears thinking about my place while Mr. DeValk droned on about something that I can't even remember now.

There are so many options and directions I would like to take farther in my life, but I'm scared to make the wrong choices. I was watching a Cinderella Story yesterday and they quote "don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" and I'd really love to be able to live my life like that. I can follow this on easy, present decisions, but I'm afraid of long term commitments that can potentially decide my fate in life. For me it's easier to live in the present than to think about my future, but I've decided that I really need to start working on that or else I'll never live to see my dreams carried out.

Even after all this thinking, I still feel like I have a good hold on my life as of right now. I have people in my life that can bring out the side in me to make crazy, carefree decisions and I absolutely love the way one in particular thinks. They makes me so incredibly happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.

Sooo mehh. This is getting long. I have VMA's to watch and dinner to eat. Enough thinking for now....

So Much For Homework

I really have nothing to say... I'm just procrastinating doing my homework. Not gonna lie, I'm really diggin junior year. A friend and I were talking and we decided the school week is for recovering from epic weekend, and epic weekends are for recovering from dumb school weeks. So basically it all works out, yeah?

HA yesterday I had an epic long conversation outside my house with Nick Henderson who re-kindled my relationship with Zack Hubbard. Hi, 8th grade? Ohh those innocent days of 8th grade... :) Loved life then, love life now. Both for VERY different reasons... hehehe.

I'm loathing this school week. Essay due tomorrow, math test tomorrow, chem test tomorrow...
DeFauk?

shout out to mah guuurls,

alex, i'm loving your blogs. really. they make me happy. :) :) and sammi, LAWL you don't blog anymore but hey, i gotta give you your props.

ahhh today was a wonderful day. besides almost passing out in the last 2 periods of the day. i mean i guess some people could be a little more cordial... i really haven't done anything to make you treat me the way you do... but whatever. some people can't just live happy, care-free lives anymore. which is why i'm not letting it bother me. :)

time for piano. ahh rekindling old memories. great memories. going through old music. getting some new stuff. it's a great outlet. i always forget about my dear piano. and once i touch it again i can't stop. hmph i love you old, old piano.<333

Hmph.

I try to keep as less involved as possible, but somehow life doesn't ever work for me that way. I feel that everything that needs to be said will be said eventually. I guess it doesn't really matter who says it.

I love my friends. I love the joy that they all seem to have. It's great to have it rub off on me in bad situations. I like being around people who rub off on me to help me be a better person. I'll never say I'm perfect. I'll never say there aren't things that need to be worked on. My life is a work in progress. Never perfect, never complete. If you wanna be set in your life as it is RIGHT NOW, be my guest.

judgement.

hate it. nuff said.

anywhoo, i really like my life. a lot. everything seems so clear to me. some parts of it may be tough, but i know where i'm going and i know who's around me. no more bullshit. everything i want in my life is real. i've got my shit straightened out and i'm all set to go.

also, i'm very indecisive about my freaking blog template. booo i can't decide on one.... ahahah.

Got My Hand In My Pocket.

today is one of the worst days ever, for SO many reasons. here, i'm bored:




Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. (but don’t say their name)

10. honestly, there isn't much i don't tell you. anything i'd say on here, i'd say it in person anyways. all in all, you are too kind.
9. i wish you would just leave me alone.
8. where are you in my liiiiffffeeee?!! :(
7. you're not as great as you think. yet, i wouldn't mind seeing more of you.
6. i don't need you right now.
5. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of you.
4. i still smile when i see you.
3. you make me incredibly sick. you're the definition of the kind of person i hate.
2. i'm still bitter.
1. you're not as great as you think you are, either. you need to step up.

Nine things about myself.
9. i hate talking about myself.
8. i hate feeling weak.
7. i honestly could care less about most things. just part of my DGAFF lifestyle. :)
6. decisions will be the death of me.
5. i want a lot more than i say.
4. i rarely do my homework, yet still manage good grade (...mostly ;))
3. i have too many aspirations in life. and i can't decide what to do with any of it.
2. having good ideas is not in my genes. i feed off of what other people say/do.
1. i don't have emotions. and when i do, i won't hide them.

Eight ways to win my heart.
8. don't wait on me hand and foot. (but you can still buy me lots of things ;))
7. give me space.
6. play hard to get. if i want you, i'll go after you.
5. do something spontaneous.
4. take me out on fun or just random dates. not boring things.
3. be SMART.
2. enjoy my music.
1. look good. ;)

Seven things that cross my mind a lot.
7. homework/school.
6. where my phone is.
5. getting a job.
4. how life could have been.
3. where my life is going.
2. food.
1. how to live my life to the fullest.

Six things I do before I fall asleep.
6. text.
5. nap.
4. brush my teeth.
3. peeeee.
2. think. actually scratch that. i don't think. or else i can't sleep....
1. text.

Five people who mean a lot.
5. taylor.
4. carly.
3. mom.
2. her.
1. him.

Four things you’re wearing right now.
4. peace ring.
3. greece bracelet.
2. greece soffees.
1. sports bra.

Three bands/singers that you listen to often. (not necessarily your favorites)
3. jason mraz.
2. a fine frenzy.
1. paramore.

Two things you want to do before you die.
2. love someone more than they love me.
1. travel the world with my best friend.

One confession.
1. hmph. i wish i cared more. don't get me wrong, i love doing spontaneous things or just chillin but i need to learn to care about the important things.

B.W.E.

Actually I can't actually say it's the best weekend ever because i've had one, maybe two, that could have topped it.... Hahah. But this weekend was seriouslyyyy bomb. Most of you know why. Hehehe. Also, I'm not worried about the stupid shit that went on this weekend. Most of you DON'T know that. Karma's a bitch. And I fully believe that.

In other news, I feel as though I MAY actually accomplish all of my homework and do it WELL tonight. :) Horray for meeeeee.

I'm all over you, I'm not over you.

^Nothing really symbolic there. Just truth.
I'm thoroughly and completely disgusted with myself. I despise it.

It seems like most people can want something so bad, and once they have it, they don't want it anymore. I'm the opposite. I won't want something until I have it. And then I obsess over it.

And now I'm sitting here trying to find words to say, and I can't think of anything. Gooooood blog.

"Hey Kari, I haven't been seeing you as much lately!"

Well who the fuck's fault is that? Is it bad that is makes me happy when I see things that I used to be in fail...? It makes me feel important. Like they can't handle things without me. HA. I wish.

And all I can say, Is you blow me away.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPSS. Thursday Saturday. Thursday Saturday. Thursday Saturday. Thursday is so strange. Saturday is so tangible. Thursday is wrong. Saturday is right. Saturday is plain. Thursday... isn't. Hmph. Give me a cat and music. I'm tired.

i hate this bubble we live in.

Probably my favorite thing to do in the whole world is drive around aimlessly and just listen to my music. Today I was doing just that. And I realized everything in stupid Ahwatukee is the same. Not that I haven’t really noticed before… but I really just wanted to get out today, but there was nowhere to go. I can’t wait to leave this town.

Near To You-A Fine Frenzy

I could seriously listen to this song over and over and over. I never get tired of singing it. I wonder if my neighbors can ever hear me when I'm singing/blasting music? Hmph, not my problem.

W33K3ND.

Oh lordy am I excited that it’s the weekend! This first week back to school has been a serious trip back to reality from the summer. Basically this week was filled with stress. Which is not a good sign for the rest of the year. I love my classes. I love all the people in my classes. I especially love CHOIR. I missed it so much over the summer. I felt like a part of me was missing when I didn’t get to see D everyday in class… well I saw him once over the summer, but that’s besides the point. Last night as I was writing my terrible Walden book review, I was listening to music. Getting some new stuff, enjoying the old. I came across so many songs that I could definitely relate to my own life. Don’t you just love that feeling? Kinda like you’re less alone if you’re listening to a song you can really relate to. That was pretty much a highlight of my week. Oh and when Mrs. Koester ended the day’s lesson in Chem by saying, “Don’t drink this weekend! Don’t do drugs! Don’t have sex! Don’t drink and drive!” Gosh she knows this generation all too well. Oh and this weekend I’m home alone... So ima be out alllll night. Awhhhh yeahhh. :) Hehehe.

Whoa, what?

I'm blogging? Lawl. Yes I am. Welp, not really. I've got my other blog for the "personal stuff" (not that i have much anyways...). I'm mostly on here to check other people's blogs. I'm tired of stalking to try to find them. Haha? So pretty much I'm supposed to be writing my AP Comp Walden paper... but I'm not. Which is nahhht good. That's really all I have to say. People probably won't read this. Which is cool, because that's be weird. Cuz that's not what a blog is about AT ALL or anything. Sweet. Maybe I'll start my essay now... maybe not. Shoot me now.