I seriously get sooo stressed everyday when I tyr to figure out where I am going with my life. For the most part, I like to say I live for the present but other times I sit down and try to figure out where my life's going and I sit there just thinking and thinking and thinking and get so distressed over it.
Like something that has been part of me since elementary school seems to be fading in my life. It's no longer as fun for me. Other things take precedence over it, but I can't imagine my life without it. However, given the circumstances, maybe it's not as important as I think it is. And it kills me to think like that. Today in choir I was on the verge of tears thinking about my place while Mr. DeValk droned on about something that I can't even remember now.
There are so many options and directions I would like to take farther in my life, but I'm scared to make the wrong choices. I was watching a Cinderella Story yesterday and they quote "don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" and I'd really love to be able to live my life like that. I can follow this on easy, present decisions, but I'm afraid of long term commitments that can potentially decide my fate in life. For me it's easier to live in the present than to think about my future, but I've decided that I really need to start working on that or else I'll never live to see my dreams carried out.
Even after all this thinking, I still feel like I have a good hold on my life as of right now. I have people in my life that can bring out the side in me to make crazy, carefree decisions and I absolutely love the way one in particular thinks. They makes me so incredibly happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.
Sooo mehh. This is getting long. I have VMA's to watch and dinner to eat. Enough thinking for now....
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