Human life is insignificant.

It's amazing to see how intricate human bodies are. Everything that goes on inside of you, your body does itself. You have no control over it, yet it does exactly what it needs to. However, it sucks to realize that we are virtually nothing compared to the rest of the universe. You can look around town and see people you've never seen before, and think nothing of it. The same goes with our planet, but on a HUUUUGERR scale. There are billions apon billions of planets out there. Our one small life among that is incredibly irrelevant. There has to be other life out there. Think, if there's not, that is SOO much wasted space. Full of stars, planets, galaxies, and nothingness. Wasted. I seriously hate thinking of the universe. There is too much to grasp. You can look at pictures from satalights taken lightyears away, but I know I'll never fully understand how much nothingness is really out there. Irrelevence in the universe sucks. Why not make an effort to at least change something in our little world. Maybe someday we will be significant. But our world as whole needs to learn how to communicate with other things that could be out in space (That was nerdy). Or just be able to experience more of it. Welp, goooooood thing I just made myself feel more insignificant. HA. Life sucks. Not my life necessarily , just human life in general.

Hehrooooo nerd status<333

I lied.

That DOES bother me. I am a jealous person. I’ve always swayed back and forth between saying I’m jealous about this, but not really jealous about that. But the fact is, I get jealous way too often. I rarely admit it. Which is why it seems people can always joke about stuff like that with me. Trying to make me jealous, but just joking about it. I’ll laugh it off and say it doesn’t bother me. But it actually does. Whatever. Like always, I’ll just forget about it and hope it doesn’t happen again. But who am I kidding? It will.

Proud Deleter of Myspace.

Haha I feel so free. :)

Maybe We Don't Wanna Be Found.

I seriously get sooo stressed everyday when I tyr to figure out where I am going with my life. For the most part, I like to say I live for the present but other times I sit down and try to figure out where my life's going and I sit there just thinking and thinking and thinking and get so distressed over it.

Like something that has been part of me since elementary school seems to be fading in my life. It's no longer as fun for me. Other things take precedence over it, but I can't imagine my life without it. However, given the circumstances, maybe it's not as important as I think it is. And it kills me to think like that. Today in choir I was on the verge of tears thinking about my place while Mr. DeValk droned on about something that I can't even remember now.

There are so many options and directions I would like to take farther in my life, but I'm scared to make the wrong choices. I was watching a Cinderella Story yesterday and they quote "don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" and I'd really love to be able to live my life like that. I can follow this on easy, present decisions, but I'm afraid of long term commitments that can potentially decide my fate in life. For me it's easier to live in the present than to think about my future, but I've decided that I really need to start working on that or else I'll never live to see my dreams carried out.

Even after all this thinking, I still feel like I have a good hold on my life as of right now. I have people in my life that can bring out the side in me to make crazy, carefree decisions and I absolutely love the way one in particular thinks. They makes me so incredibly happy. Happier than I have been in a long time.

Sooo mehh. This is getting long. I have VMA's to watch and dinner to eat. Enough thinking for now....

So Much For Homework

I really have nothing to say... I'm just procrastinating doing my homework. Not gonna lie, I'm really diggin junior year. A friend and I were talking and we decided the school week is for recovering from epic weekend, and epic weekends are for recovering from dumb school weeks. So basically it all works out, yeah?

HA yesterday I had an epic long conversation outside my house with Nick Henderson who re-kindled my relationship with Zack Hubbard. Hi, 8th grade? Ohh those innocent days of 8th grade... :) Loved life then, love life now. Both for VERY different reasons... hehehe.

I'm loathing this school week. Essay due tomorrow, math test tomorrow, chem test tomorrow...
DeFauk?

shout out to mah guuurls,

alex, i'm loving your blogs. really. they make me happy. :) :) and sammi, LAWL you don't blog anymore but hey, i gotta give you your props.

ahhh today was a wonderful day. besides almost passing out in the last 2 periods of the day. i mean i guess some people could be a little more cordial... i really haven't done anything to make you treat me the way you do... but whatever. some people can't just live happy, care-free lives anymore. which is why i'm not letting it bother me. :)

time for piano. ahh rekindling old memories. great memories. going through old music. getting some new stuff. it's a great outlet. i always forget about my dear piano. and once i touch it again i can't stop. hmph i love you old, old piano.<333

Hmph.

I try to keep as less involved as possible, but somehow life doesn't ever work for me that way. I feel that everything that needs to be said will be said eventually. I guess it doesn't really matter who says it.

I love my friends. I love the joy that they all seem to have. It's great to have it rub off on me in bad situations. I like being around people who rub off on me to help me be a better person. I'll never say I'm perfect. I'll never say there aren't things that need to be worked on. My life is a work in progress. Never perfect, never complete. If you wanna be set in your life as it is RIGHT NOW, be my guest.